Patchwork
by mariXwic32
Summary: Impossibly, I wrote a rewrite of all the stories with all my favorite characters. This time, everyone is excited to get to the Narutoverse and steal all the energy spheres in that world... Who's the good guys? Who's bad? And why is there a goat in the story!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: HALOOOO! I have abandoned my readers for almost a year because of work and a boyfriend, but I have returned!**

 **Yes!**

 **Returned with the latest and greatest Naruto fanfiction!**

 **Yes, it involves some of the most known OC's of my original stories, but they're kinda thrown together in one badass story.**

 **So, I hope everyone enjoys the story, review on it and do not leave a chapter without reviewing first!**

 **«~XD~»**

Sighing heavily, Akiri swooped up from her seat and gracefully snatched up the Evod lying on the coffee table; pretty annoyed with the fact that Ichibi, who she had asked three times already to pass her the damned electric cigarette, didn't lift a finger. Well, she couldn't really, she was dead.

As a matter of fact, the laziness and unhelpfulness was a daily situation; involving every person who stays in the Drackon house.

Sebastian, the hopeless flirt, preferred to gaze at himself lovingly in the mirror; Akuto, the weird scientist, loved to ignore everyone and experiment on animals in the lab (supplied to her out of kindness which Akiri doesn't posess even in the deepest, darkest, coldest corner of her heart). Karo, Akiri's more kinder younger sister, would rather plant Odelia, Pansy and Chamomile plants outside in the garden with Sipho the golden retriever than help out. Umbra, the depressed ball of fur, likes to sit in a corner all day and feel sorry for himself. Ichibi, well we all know her story, she's dead every day with thanks to her clumsiness; Akiri gave up on resurrecting her a while ago. The last time she died was recently, her corpse was strewn across the sofa because she broke her neck whilst watching Attack on Titan. Luna would rather read a book than help out at home.

Akiri's closest friends, Creatrix, Martin and Momo, were currently investigating a great power disturbance to the North; but returned the instant Akiri sat down on the couch again.

The front door burst open and the banner bearing the Drackon coat of Arms shivered as wind blew past it. "Its a portal." Creatrix said, trying her best not to pummel the emotional mess in the corner. "Looks like it leads to either another dimension, age, world, whatever." Her straight cut, brown hair waved in the incoming wind as the three friends stepped into the house.

Martin grabbed Momo and set her on his neck for a piggy back ride; that is pretty normal for them, because they are brother and sister. "We need to go through it and... Investigate; but we can't all go." He said, causually glancing at Akiri with his eyes so green they put grass to shame to see an emotionless expression as the 'big boss' inhaled some toxic smoke from the electric cigarette. Akiri glanced back with fiery red eyes that made fire douse itself in shame.

"Don't forget Tini," Momo said, ruffling Martin's already messy head of black hair and pouting slightly; her huge blue eyes finding Akiri before she smiled. "It looks like the portal is going to close in two days time." Her golden curls glided over Martin's head, slightly blocking his view.

Akiri watched them in silence, sucking on her electric tobacco; for a while, no one moved, not even Akuto in the lab. Mulling it over in her head, the Burgundy haired woman stood up and paced, passing right through the hovering ghost of Ichibi. A few more minutes passed; everyone was starting to die of the tension, Akuto could feel her knee begin to pain from standing on it the whole time; she really should have thought about it before bashing her knee into a wall so that everyone can escape a locked room.

And then, as if a fury of flames burst through the lounge of Drackon house, Akiri started barking orders.

"Momo, Martin and Creatrix, grab some supplies; weapons included. Ichibi, get your ghosty-ass in gear and hover into your box." Akiri stormed up the stairs, throwing her foot out as Sebastian tried his best to grab her leg to beg her to take him with; sadly, he tumbled down the stairs as soon as his face connected with boot. "Akuto, we need chemicals in case any of us get injured or sick and the rest of you stay here." She said, and paused. "SIPHO! WATCH THE HOUSE!"

"Bark!" The dog named Sipho ran to the front door and sat waiting patiently. With the head of the house upstairs packing whatever it is she needs, the rest ran in chaos to find the required supplies for the trip (not including the trip Sebastian had falling down the stairs for a second time as Akuto whirred past him to get to the medicine cabinet at the end of the hallway upstairs).

Ichibi made herself and orange hair scarce as she; troubled, tried to find her box of transport. The box, which has her name written in bright orange on the lid, was just a normal jewelry box which was located, very cleverly, in Sipho the dog's bed outside the back. At least; she thanked whoever caused her soul to roam the earth, the box wasn't buried under the cabbage patch again. Being a ghost wasn't very easy, seeing as things just glide through your fingers; not Ichibi's jewelry box... It was made of brass.

In any case, with the house in chaos, poor Sipho couldn't understand why he was being shouted at when Karo tripped over him in a blind panic to find her sculpting fork. Momo grabbed the finest weapons possible, loading them into a backpack; including Akiri's favorite torture instrument: a steel club with no regards to people who can't carry heavy objects. She huffed when the steel club landed in the backpack.

Martin packed all and anything considering panties, underwear, clothing and more panties. Sporting a nice pair of spotted pink panties belonging to Akiri herself on his head, he grabbed the last bit of clothes and stuffed it into a backpack. With every article of clothing packed, the raucious raving rabbid pranced out of the room to join his sister downstairs; both sporting a large backpack filled with supplies.

Creatrix was in the kitchen, grabbing all and any food that was edible and would not expire quickly. Another large backpack was used to stuff food supplies for the trip; and the brunette with purple eyes joined Momo and Martin in the lounge.

 **«~.we know it is a line break..~»**

In the meantime, whilst the lunatics were busy with antics considering traveling, a goat, about five years old, casually jumped through the portal and disappeared. In another dimension, Kisame was napping under a tree in the forest of Konoha when that same goat slammed into him and knocked him out. The goat continued to graze casually on grass next to a rock.

Now, everyone should know Kisame by now; looks similar to a shark, but walks and talks like a human. His mother could seriously not keep her legs closed...

ANYWAY! Stop picturing it you weirdo's...

Itachi, Kisame's partner in crime, was surprised at the goat falling from the sky. Both of them had heard the bleating, but they didn't know where it came from until mr goat killed mr fishy...

Ahem...

The weasel (Itachi), grabbed a rope and tied the goat to the tree, to make sure they took it back to he Akatsuki hideout. Well, yeah, Itachi thought it was only going to be a goat and not more things (people) dropping out of the sky and landing in different parts of the ninja world...

 **Okay, so the start is just random, but no shit they all have to be!**

 **Reviews, they get people hyped up to write a story. They also get reviewers cookies and sneak peeks into the story. Even better, they give the readers a chance to help the author write the book the way the readers want the story to go; I mean, come on, who the hell wants a cliche?**

 **So, RIEVEIEWERSEBeW!**

 **Ahem...**

 **REVIEW!**

 **A pleview pleese?**

Akiri arrived downstairs to find that her three best friends were complete dimwits... She sighed and chucked all the supplies out of each bag. "Seperate bags, one for each of us with our own supplies in case we get seperated... Isn't it obvious?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello my lovies, I'm back with another exciting chapter for you.**

 **So far, no reviews, but I bet after a chapter or two, I'll start getting some reviews.**

 **Anycase, I've got a few days left and then I'm either stuck without a job or the big boss at work gives me an extension to my contract. Because of the stress at home and at work, I have to vent my frustrations out somewhere, so...**

 **RE-FUCKING-VIEW or I will cut out your intestines and use them to hang you!**

 **Seriously guys, there's something called a review button at the end of each chapter at the bottom of the page. It really doesn't bite at all.**

 **Anyway, please enjoy the chapter.**

 **I forgot a disclaimer at the start of the story:**

 **Disclaimer: all characters of the anime Naruto and manga Naruto are not fan-based and belong to the author Masashi Kishimoto. This story is a fan-based story and the voices in your head whilst reading is fan-based. I do not own any of the characters and give credit to the following people for allowing me to use their names and personalities in this story:**

 **Creatrix - her real name is Aggy, but she's gotten into the witchcraft thingy, so she gave me her alias.**

 **Akiri - a good friend of mine, and also someone who terrifies the crap out of me. She is also a witch, but doesn't have an alias like Creatrix does.**

 **Martin - someone who went to school with me and was stuck in a friend group with me :P**

 **Momo - my bestie for years now, and I will give up the world to just stay friends with her.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **«~XD~»**

Akiri arrived downstairs to find that her three best friends were complete dimwits... She sighed and chucked all the supplies out of each bag. "Separate bags, one for each of us with our own supplies in case we get separated... Isn't it obvious?" She said, nearly handing Martin a thwack against the ear because of her panties being worn on his head.

Creatrix, mortified that they had made a mistake in packing, did the thwacking. She hit Martin behind the head; Akiri's panty flew off, and Creatrix ran upstairs to grab five smaller backpacks. When she returned, she was dragging Akuto holding the whole medicine cupboard in a bag.

And then Akiri sat down, and the other four sat down. Ichibi hovered into the lounge with her box, set it down on the table and vanished into it. "Okay," Akiri said, calm as what she could be before she hit anyone. "Weapons and any gear gets devided up depending on person; so," she glared heavily at Martin. "Climbing gear, to Martin as well as machetes and axes."

And so, everything was sorted.

All five characters who was going was given:

-a series of food rations so they could survive if they were to be seperated.

-clothes, in case they wet themselves or have no idea how to wash.

-weapons, if the need comes to hunt or defend themselves.

-equipment, to help them hide if needed, build a shelter or escape.

-health pack, in case illness befalls them or they get injured.

Ichibi had to stay tucked inside Akiri's pack alongside a creepy looking bottle of antisceptic with a centipede in it.

According to their skills, each of the five were equipped with the tools they were capable of using in situations of hunting, escaping, surviving and fighting. Akuto had a series of scalpels, needles and various torture impliments used for scientific purposes; let's not mention what the hacksaw is used for. She also has a vast amount of poisons and self-spring traps. Martin, as we know, is equipped with a machete, axe and climbing gear.

Creatrix has two hunting knives and a pistol with only one bullet; to fire a help signal or to kill herself. She also has a wide array of throwing objects if needed. Momo has the more delicate, but deadly katana and thin fishgut that can cut through teeth if needed. Of course Ichibi was packed in a brass box in Akiri's backpack.

Akiri just had her unforgiving steel club and another very strange item that will be explained later.

And so they set out!

Leaving the other fucktards behind, Akiri and her four man crew marched out of the Drackon house, Akiri bearing the Drackon coat of Arms as a small banner on her backpack.

They trekked North, to were Creatrix and the others found the portal, discovering that all the stones were becoming electrically charged with the force of energy coming from the portal as they hovered off the ground. The air around them seemed to thicken as they got closer, as if they were not meant to go there; but you know what a crazy group they are.

They stopped along the way to fill some containers with water from the stream, just in case they are thirsty after jumping through the rip in time and space. When they reached the portal, they nodded and Akiri handed everyone a communicator in case they needed to find each other, and they sure as hell needed them. Then, in five flashes, the portal dissapeared as they jumped into it and officially closed it off, so they had no way of really returning.

It took them one full day to get to the portal, and half a year to fuck up the world of Naruto.

 **«~.we all know it is a line break..~»**

With Kisame semi concious, Itachi started a fire in a cave that he had dragged Kisame and the goat to. Mulling goats falling out of the sky in his head, he glanced at the moon in silence. Then he glanced at the fire and immediately back at the moon in utter confusion; for Itachi had seen something that looked like a human flying right towards them. He rubbed his eyes and even made sure his sharingan was working; and sure as hell, when he looked again, someone was definitely flying towards them.

The last thing Itachi remembers before being knocked unconcious by the flying person, was a loud whip, a flash of steel and the sound of steel connecting to skull.

Akiri was not impressed that the group had indeed split up, with everyone in different parts of what looked like the Narutoverse. All is well and done, everyone is here, but to get back into one group would be a mission. Sighing, Akiri plopped herself down on a rock at the entrance to the cave she landed in and lit herself a cancer stick. At least she had Ichibi to keep her company, when the silly ghost wakes up.

The three occupants of the cave were asleep. Kisame and Itachi were knocked out, and the goat that looked similar to the one that had escaped from the Drackon house the previous year, was just snoozing. At least Akiri remembered to give everyone a communicator, but she had better plans than contacting her friends.

Creatrix sighed, miffed by the fact that she had fallen into a large pile of horse shit. It wasn't just that; she walked into possibly the only person who could help her track Akiri down, and knocked him out, thinking it was lunch. Not only that, she descovered that she was in the Narutoverse, because the dude she knocked out looked a lot like the snake pedophile. Orochimaru twitched as the sting from the wound to his head pulsed. Sighing again, Creatrix grabbed her rope and tied it around Orochimaru's neck before dragging him off after her in search of a river to clean herself of the horse shit and game so she can have dinner; seeing as lunch turned out to be friend and not foe... For now at least.

Momo was pretty lucky; she had ended up in Shikamaru's room. But cute as she may be, she nearly murdered the Nara when he woke up and went 'awwwww'; Momo was not 'awwwwww'. She may have cute cat ears and a tail, but she is not cute. Shikamaru was knocked unconcious with a fist to the nose. Now Momo just had to find the rest of her friends; so she put the communicator headpiece on and attempted to get any communication whatsoever. "This is going to be a long night..." She sighed, listening to the low hum of the speaker in her ear as it attempted to reach one of the other communicators, her foot resting on Shikamaru's head in case he tried to move.

Martin ended up nearly hacking the head off of Suna's hokage, Gaara; mainly because he looked like Ronald McDonald. You see, what happened was:

Martin landed on the roof of the hokage tower in Suna, and Gaara was on it as well, just randomly gazing at the moon. So, Martin didn't really acknowledge Gaara's presence until he turned around and nearly crapped himself because why in the hell did he end up in an alternate universe of McDonalds? So, before he even thought about swinging his handy axe, Martin took a deep breath and said: "I need to find my friends."

And that is how Gaara and Martin ended up having the conversation of a lifetime in Gaara's room.

So, we all know everyone so far ended up with someone who can help them, right?

Akuto... Had a bit of a dilemma...

You see... Creepy scientist with red hair and green eyes + the meeting of her greatest nemesis in Naruto = nemesis being either killed, torutured or poisoned.

So, Akuto ended up with Sasuke as the only hope of ever finding her friends because she broke her communicator when she crash landed into Karin; who ended up getting her head cut off with the hacksaw. Juugo heard the noise and was stabbed with a needle and injected with poison as soon as he walked in. Suigetsu was found with a stake through his chest as Akuto carried on with her rampage after finding her communicator broken in her pocket.

Sasuke found Akuto just before she got out of their hideout and of course tried to kill her because she murdered his friends in cold blood. What do you expect from a creepy scientist? In the end, Sasuke just got tortured with potions and toxins and needles and knives until he finally gave and agreed to help Akuto find the rest of her friends.

So there we have it. The group of whacko's are safely in the Narutoverse, with help to find each other.

 **Pleview of le next chappie!**

In the morning, birds were chirping; all was quiet and peaceful.

Except for the girl-like screech when Kisame woke up with a baseball bat in his face.

That scream ecchoed to four other parties and the friends of Akiri giggled, knowing she had woken up and was probably torturing whomever to make her coffee.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, I'm getting fed up with dis shit.**

 **I know people are just reading and not reviewing because the story has 12 views so far and no reviews. That's like telling an author to go fuck themselves.**

 **Well guess the fuck what?**

 **Here's the third flipping chapter.**

In the morning, birds were chirping; all was quiet and peaceful.

 **Review**

Except for the girl-like screech when Kisame woke up with a baseball bat in his face.

 **Review**

That scream ecchoed to four other parties and the friends of Akiri giggled, knowing she had woken up and was probably torturing whomever to make her coffee.

 **Review**

So let's take it to the cave, where Akiri was trying to murder Kisame for coffee; looking like a scary clown doing so. Itachi was curled in a sushi roll and tried his best to contact the leader of the Akatsuki, crying as he did so because he got no response.

 **Review**

And then a miracle happened and Akiri found a container of coffee on the floor. All went quiet and Kisame was safe.

 **Review.**

 **There, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm making them shorter from now on because no one wants to review on a long chapter.**

 **Oh, and did you guys notice my notes after each paragraph?**

 **If I don't get any reviews, I am not going to write fan fiction crap anymore, because its wasting my time and your's apparently.**


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